| As the Doha Asian Games draw closer ( starts at 1 Dec), I have been pondering and thinking of the decisions I made when I decided to take a break from my hectic yet enjoyable swimming career. After a good outing (1 bronze in 100m butterfly and a gold in the relay) in Sukma 2002, me and about 14 other swimmers were selected in January 2003 to be projected and trained for this Doha Asian Games 2006. 2 weeks after the New Year, I checked into my new home and base, Bukit Jalil (or known as Bukit "Jail" as we soon called it later.). I didn't know what to expect when I arrived, I have to admit that my expectations were a bit high though. As I checked into the Bukit Jalil Sports School on my first night, I knew LIFE would not be easy here. Staying in a room with 5 other athletes of different sports, race and age, and religion, with just 3 small wall spinning fans was going to be a challenge. I was also rather lonely because the only other male swimmer who was supposed to stay in school was Daniel Bego (current swimming sensation if you do not know who he is) but because of some reason(not sure whether even it is true) he moved out and stay with his mum in his comfy apartment. The food served was horrible (unnutritous and tastless) if to be eaten by athletes who use twice as much energies as normal people a day and also hardly enough for me (despite many complains) and dining hall was hot, full of flies and cats! yuck.... The classes were fairly okay, nothing much to boast about, teachers were doing their job, you would think a sports school would have the best teachers, but NO, they even send trainee teachers. Most students here are not interested in their studies(maybe only 1% are) and do not even bother to come for class. Teachers would not want to teach if there are too few students and therefore we were also slow compared to other schools. Mind you, we all took the same examas, PMR and SPM like all schools nationwide. No exception for us! there is even compulsory SPM subject here- sports science! As for my swimming, our coaches were a russian coach(who has now left ) and also a local coach, the russian being the head coach, writting out the programs and deciding when we should train. I followed their program obediently and didn't question them much even though many times I was struggling to move in the water. the first year, i improved a significant bit, about a second in my hundred butterfly. I had good exposure in the many competitions i went during the first year, best achievement was Gold in 50m butterfly in Asian Junior swimming Championship in the 15-17age category. I continued to trained hard and following their program , hoping deep in my heart to be selected for the Vietnam Sea Games at the end of the year, but I did not improved any further compared to the likes of my younger team mates who were doing very well. the older ones were not improving much either. I would't say i was a "i want results only" kind of swimmer because i had trained hard enough to deserve the results..A few of them got selected for the Sea Games while i thought hard whether i wanted to continue the next since the next year i had SPM and I wanted something to fall back on should I fail in swimming. I decided to go back the nexy year, but this time I moved out of the school, making arrangements for an exception for me to stay in the non-schooling athlete hostel which had better conditions and food too BUT i had to pay for the food i ate at this different canteen. every meal was worth a penny even though if i did not eat there. but at least I had better food and rest....That year, I set a high target, that was to qualify for the B category for the Athens Olympics. my time was 58 and the qaulifying time was 56. i believed I could do it. i wanted to push myself beyond my limits, but I felt that somehow my coaches did not think I could do it. I wasn't even sure what they wanted me to achieve that year, maybe it was just Sukma 2004. But still, I had a good time in Kunming, China when I was the few that went there for altitude training. the whole team was supposed to go but at the end, some political reason caused the team to split into 2. in the end our local coach and a few of us went while the russian coach stayed back with the rest. I'm not sure whether i benefited from the altitude training because of a number of reasons 1. I couldn;t sleep really well because my room mate brought his PS2 there and he ends up playing late at night...afternoon too...because he was a lot senior than me, he did not really care, neither did my coach, he just asked me to use earplugs which were of no use coz i am extremely sensitive to sound when I sleep, so the sleep affected my training directly. 2. we had to go back early because of the political reason, some party was not satisfied that we got to go and they did not. 3. No support services like a masseur to loosen up my muscles after a hard day of training. my former china coach which trained me in Sukma 2002 did it for us because she knew if we didnt have one, we would die(literally) during the next session. I did OK in the Sukma 2004, winning a few medals but no individual gold medal. i was expected to win the 50m butterfly but I was clearly not the "best man" that day, as I lost in a close fight to the now swimming sensation Daniel Bego. it was really the race to watch that day, it was either me or him. as he had already won many events, i had the support of all the other states(really touched) but the pressure took its toll on me. that made the defeat even harder, i remembered i was devastated after the race. when i was cooling down in the diving pool, tears filled up my goggles. that was how hard it was. nevertheless, i took revenge in the relay, beating sarawak in the 4x100m freestyle which they were expected to win... after Sukma, i could say i was depressed..very....i did not qualify for the Olympic Games..was not even close..my best time up to now is only 57.9....I talked to my officer in the National Sports Council and he said after the Malaysia Open, i could go back home and concentrate on my SPM. I packed my bags as soon as Malaysia Open finished, enrolled in All Saints for 2 months and then came back to the sports school to take my exams. after my exams, I told myself I need a break from swimming, explore life, discover new things, i decided to come back home (KK) after 3.5 years training away from home. enrolled in Institut Sinaran(IS) for a-levels. joined Glory Kids as a youth staff, commited myself again to church and serving God again. Life started to be brighter when I was back in KK. Made lots of new friends in IS, made better friendships in church and also commited my life to God again. I had a great time in IS, serving the school in many ways, receiving good lectures and life lessons from the lecturers there, which helped me to score the straight As I achieved in my A levels. I had not tasted the sweetness of success for such a long time until I received the phone call from my principal about my results. also, I could now fulfil my dream of becoming a doctor( glad to say I am a medical student now...hehehe...proud to be in International Medical University). Giving back to the community what they have given me before. so now, when I look back and wonder, did i make the right decision when i decided to stop swimming? I think i can truthfully say YES. I would never imagine what I would turn out to be if I had not stop. I would say a very selfish, lonely and depress Jeremy? maybe.........2 years have passed since I stopped, I would never exchange the these 2 years with anything else. not even if i had the chance to go to Doha now.... * by the way, 14 of us who got selected, 12 of us eventually left the team( really sad...what went wrong in this project???), seeing no future and hope at all, we left wanting to pursue something better in life. Daniel is the only one from the team that is going to Doha ( well, I never really considered him part of the team since he was hardly with team except during training hours)..oh well, i still wish him all the best... |
